It’s rare to hear anybody say they aren’t busy. No matter what season of the year, your occupation, number of kids, or whatever else may come into play, everybody is busy. We’re all running here, there, and everywhere.
Americans are superb at the hustle.
I’m married to Matt, the energizer bunny. On top of that, he’s living his dream, so he is excited to wake up everyday and get going. That’s not to say he enjoys everything he does, or doesn’t get tired. But for the large majority of the time, the man is in hog heaven.
I, on the other hand, acknowledge that his dream, is not my dream. I work side by side with my husband on his family farm. While I love the “freedom” this entitles me to, my tank is filled in very different ways than his. After almost 11 years of marriage, we still havne’t figured it out, but we both want to figure it out. I’m also starting to figure out that there isn’t “figuring it out.” There is no right answer at all seasons of life — things change, people change, life changes. There’s no box we can check off when things are good and say we have it. There are always adjustments and changes that need done.
Here on our Kansas farm, we’re gearing up for harvest. We’ve been told over and over again that there is danger of corn stalks losing their integrity based on the weather we’ve had so it’s going to be very important to be harvesting when the weather allows. Soybeans are always a time-sensitive crop to harvest. So it’s going to be long days and not a lot of breaks unless the weather dictates it.
As I said before, Matt’s “tank” is filled by the long days. He works so hard before harvest to get all the equipment ready. When it’s go time, he’s so excited. This is what he works for, and it’s what makes him feel “full” in life. He can go a lot longer on less sleep because he’s doing something he’s so happy about.
These long days wear me out in a different way. I can withstand a few hours less sleep for a season. (None of us can or should get very little sleep for extended periods of time. It is scientifically proven how detrimental losing sleep is for our mental and physical health). But I can handle it for a short time.
My daily schedule changes based on the season we’re in. Sometimes I leave with Matt. While he goes to work on equipment or shop work or whatever else, I’m checking calving cows. We calve three times a year, so a lot of the year, I’m out the door first thing in morning. But then there are seasons that the cows are calved and on grass, and my mornings can be more relaxed. I can get the daily laundry and cleaning done. I can go for a walk, or move my body in exercise, or I can get my Bible study in. Our house is never completely clean or put together, but I feel better when there isn’t clutter and the laundry and dishes are put away.
During the “busiest season” on the farm, the things in the house slide. I’m figuring out that I can do it all, but I can’t do it all at once all the time. When I’m expected to be calving fall cows and running a combine, grain cart, or truck during harvest a very large majority of the day, I have to figure out how to make it work. Sleep is the most important to me. If the option is folding and putting away laundry or sleeping an extra 30 minutes, sleep will win every time.
Next is my nutrition. Matt can live on processed food and Mountain Dew and feel great. I feel like garbage if I do. So I make it a priority to make fresh milled bread for sandwiches and make sure I’m eating fruits and veggies. I also try to get movement for my body in every day, however that looks.
The last thing I try hard to do is my Bible study every day. It’s significantly shorter than normal, but as I’ve leaned in to my faith this last year, I notice a difference in my attitude and reactions when I’m not reading the Bible versus when I am.
My priorities aren’t going to be the same as yours. Understanding that just because something doesn’t happen one day, doesn’t mean it can’t happen the next. It’s not an all or nothing mentality. I try to do as many of the things that fill my tank daily. And when they don’t, I try the next day. I don’t give up and let it all spiral. Every day is a new day.
There is the constant struggle of give and take. Time is our biggest constraint. You have to figure out for you what works for you in the season you are in. Chances are pretty good your spouse is doing the same thing, consciously or unconsciously.
These are some of the thoughts I’m taking in to harvest season on our farm:
We are all human, trying our best
When things break and my husband gets short with me, I’m going to strive to understand that I’m his safe person. He knows I’m going to be here for him. On many farms, sometimes our spouse is the target of our frustration, even when they have nothing to do with it.
This too shall pass. We just have to get through it.
Matt doesn’t care if the clean clothes are in a laundry basket or his closet. For this season, I’m not going to either.
When harvest is done, we will make a conscious decision to reconnect with each other in a way that fills our love tanks.
Just because the days are long, doesn’t mean there can’t be jokes, laughs, and smiles during it.
While I’m all for saving the environment and trying to use as many reusable things as I can throughout the year, I’m not going to beat myself up when I use convenience items to save clean up time during these long days.
Wishing you all the best on your farms. May you have a great, productive, and safe harvest season on your farms!
Kelsey Pagel is a Kansas farmer. She grew up on a cow/calf and row crop operation and married into another. Kelsey and her Forever (Matt) farm and ranch with his family where they are living their dream and loving most of the moments.
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